Ann-S-Thesia's Test Results
I don't know why I've become fascinated by
these things lately. It all started with the Archie
McPhee Nerd Test where I scored 34% (between
Steve Jobs and Marilyn Monroe...yippee! Just where I'd love to
be...um...statistically speaking that is...but Stevie...when
you were young, you were hot!)
Then there was The Spark's
plethora of tests. I initially scored a 29% on the Bitch Test.
Fearing I underestimated my bitchitude, I took it again to be
sure and surprisingly scored even lower (i.e., less bitchy),
21%. Some of their other tests were a bit absurd. I'm
66% Pure according to their Purity Test. And according
to the Death Test, I am scheduled to die December 13, 2038 at
77 years old, younger than either of my grandmothers at their
age of death. Must be because I have a stressful desk job. And
this is what The Spark told me after I took the Wealth Test:
"Congratulations! Based on inflation, taxes, the anticipated
world economy, melting icecaps, free love, the global yeast war
of 2017, the Canadian depression of 2021, and your personal financial
outlook, you can expect to be worth one million dollars at...
51 years old! And your fortune will be made in the following
$104,000 begging in the streets.
$102,000 through insider trading.
$100,000 being a star.
$150,000 through lucrative nerd-ism, like Bill Gates.
$148,000 criminal mischief.
$304,000 working 9 to 5.
$92,000 keeping the money that people drop, jerk."
Uh huh. It gets more absurd. Here's my results of The Spark's
"According to our analysis, you are not currently pregnant.
During your life, you'll have:
Here are some stats about your next one:
Birth weight: 12 lbs. 2 oz.
Length at birth: 7 inches
Chance of mangling birth-defect: 4%
Most likely defect: spina-bifida"
You don't know me too well, do you Sparky? I only scored 11%
on the Ass test. Someone explain the point of that test? And
in their "Unintelligent" test I scored 43%...According
to the Spark: "Interesting. While the subject shows a very
high level of intelligence, her sense of observation is somewhat
below average. We attribute this to the egotistical nature of
the subject. Actually, rats behave in the same manner, but she's
smarter than any animal.
"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling
is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers
or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough,
sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.
"Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little
bit boring) sense of humor, a decent and respectable sense of
morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these
three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium
levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest
Final Score: 43% Un-telligent.
Poor Observation? Well, I guess they didn't know I scored
143 on my IQ
Test, with the breakdown as follows:
Pattern Recognition: 93/100
Classifiation (Odd One Out): 66/100
Logical Reasoning: 100/100
General Knowledge: 88/100
According to QueenDom.Com"Scores of 130 and above mean that
according to this test, you are absolutely brilliant. "
Well, I was a bit surprised it came out that high, actually.
I was thinking it would be around 110 or so.
Another Test site is The
Armory which offers more "Purity Tests" than you
could ever take in a day. I only took a few, and the results
are as follows:
Geek Test: "You answered "yes" to 12
of 129 questions, making you 90.7% geek pure (9.3% geek
corrupt); that is, you are 90.7% pure in the geek domain (you
have 9.3% geek in you). Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness
Factor) is 20%, based on a comparison of your test results with
28706 other submissions for this test. The average purity for
this test is 79.4%.
Mental Purity: "You answered "yes" to
41 of 260 questions, making you 84.2% [mental] pure (15.8%
[mental] corrupt). "
Web Designing Purity: "You answered "yes"
to 42 of 120 questions, making you 65.0% Web Designing pure
(35.0% Web Designing corrupt); that is, you are 65.0% pure in
the Web Designing domain (your strangeness is 35.0%). "
Hey, what can I say...I really really don't get off on coding,
OK? They didn't ask about the art stuff.
Niceness Test: "You answered "yes" to
14 of 100 questions, with a total value of 25 points out of 215,
making you 88.4% nicely pure (11.6% nicely corrupt); that
is, you are 88.4% pure in the niceness domain (your meanness
is 11.6%). "
That's all the tests I've taken so far.